Chips And Peas

based on Yellow Submarine by The Beatles
revised lyrics by Anon², 27-August-2004
(NB: See below for disclaimer)

In the town where I was born
There are women who are diseased
And they are all dirty girls
In the land of STD’s

They don’t mind it up the bum
And in the mouth they’ll use their tongue
And we treat them just like slaves
Because we’re dirty too and well depraved

They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas
They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas

And all your friends have had them too
Even the old bloke who’s fifty two
They have all had many shags
Every one of them are just fat slags

They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas
They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas

There’s a girl who’ll suck your knob
It’ll only cost you fifty bob
And you know she’ll be back for more
Her name is Sharon the filthy whore

They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas
They will shag for a bag of chips and peas
A bag of chips and peas, a bag of chips and peas

(Anon² would like it to be known that this not necessarily about his home town of Doncaster, but rather it is based on many personal observations made by one or two - possibly hundreds of thousands of people who may or may not have been there (or a town that bares remarkable similarity) at any one stage in their lives (whether they happened to live there for a while or not) and any names, associations of people (Sharon "Fifty Bob" Turner – for instance) animals, minerals, vegetables, Sixth Form college students, publicans, chip shop workers, receptionists, bank clerks, florists, shop-workers, hair-dressers, cleaners, Bingo callers, dole seekers, drug dealers, young single mothers (whether the father is known, or could be one of any large number of "possible" suspects), prostitutes who may be either living and deceased are purely coincidental... yeah right!)

- Anon², 27-Aug-2004