Booby Trap

Some shit happens in space.	A Menthar Booby Trap, in fact.	Leah finds it all rather amusing...	... unlike the dude in the Ancient Computer.
(more images below)

Overview: The Enterprise falls victim to an ancient booby trap set to snare starships; while in an effort to find an escape, Geordi finds himself falling for the holodeck's representation of a famous Federation engineer.
Writers: Ron Roman, Michael Piller & Richard Danus
Director: Gabrielle Beaumont

Anon²: With some boobies!

Anon: With some boobies, yeah! Boobies on the holodeck - some bird with big tits. Then he clicks his fingers and some pikey comes out with a violin. And then the bird dumps him because she doesn't like pikies.

Anon²: Yeah. And he was a pikey because it was mentioned in the last sentance of two of the show.

Anon: They basically confirmed that the guy was indeed a thieving, dirty, pikey cunt.

Anon²: Thieving gyppo bastard.

Anon: Yeah. Or "travelling folk."

Anon²: Tinkers. Anyway, what do we make of this then? Oh - cards: Pie got 2. You got 2. I got 1. But we had a kinda combined one too.

Anon: Yeah, we all got Leah Brahms. The holographic version.

Anon²: Geordi was trying to get Leah Brahms.

Anon: Which one's which? Was the holographic one Dr. Leah Brahms or just Leah Brahms?

Pie: I can't remember, actually.

Anon: Okay, fair enough.

Pie: Ancient Computer - now that I thought was a blinding spot!

Anon: Yeah. Occasionally I'm touched by genius.

Anon²: Data got told to shut the fuck up once.

Anon: Yep.

Anon²: And then what did Geordi-watch tell us? Well, not much really for an episode about him. Basically, he's a twat.

Anon: He does have a chat with Guinan in Ten Forward. Guinan's back and tells us that she's attracted to bald men, because a bald man once helped her out... or looked after her... something like that.

Anon²: Yeah, or some shit.

Anon: I presume that's a reference to later on, in Time's Arrow. Remember that one?

Pie: Was Picard there for that?

Anon²: That was the Samuel Clemens episode, yeah?

Anon: Right, Samuel Clemens.

Pie: I didn't think Picard actually went back in time in that one.

Anon: Yeah, Picard went back.

Anon²: Yeah, because of Data's Head.

Anon: Yeah, they found Data's Head.

Pie: So, that's a later episode?

Anon: Yeah, it's a later episode. It's set back in time where Guinan is also there.

Pie: So, do you think when they made that episode that they looked back at this episode and thought to work it in?

Anon: No, I think they introduced something here that was going to work towards explaining a relationship between Guinan and Picard that Picard isn't necessarily aware of.

Pie: Oh okay. Interesting to think they may have had that much foresight.

Anon: Yeah. There was an episode previously where someone said to Guinan, "Is it true that you knew Captain Picard before coming on board the Enterprise?" So, that was earlier on in season 2.

Anon²: To be fair, there hasn't been that much time-travelling nonsense so far this series, has there?

Anon: Not particularly. Time-travel doesn't bother me though.

Pie: Time-travel episodes tend to be better than average, I find. Except for in Voyager where they tended to be gash.

Anon²: (laughs)

Anon: Oh, another season 3 episode coming up is Captain's Holiday, where Picard dates a bird called Gash.

Pie; (laughs)

(Okay, it's Vash. I know now and knew then. It's called a spontaneous attempt at humour. Get with the program!)

Anon²: Yeah, and someone in this episode had nice tits. I'll say "Guess who?" and we'll leave it at that.

Anon: The intergalactic cheerleader herself, Ms. Troi.

Pie: Shall we say from this point forward that Troi has nice tits until we point out otherwise?

Anon²: I might bring it up anyway. I used to think she had a good arse. Her tits aren't big but they are well-formed. You can get a nice handfull.

Anon: Since we're talking about the ladies, we were saying earlier that we don't think that earrings exist in any of the Starfleet crews.

Pie: Maybe they're just banned. Safety!

Anon: Yeah, or maybe it's to avoid getting them confused with pikeys on the holodeck.

Anon²: I'm pretty sure Lwaxana Troi has some earrings at some point.

Anon: Yeah, but she's not Starfleet, is she?

Anon²: Yes, she is.

Pie: No, she's Custodian to the Holy Rings of Betazed.

Anon: Exactly. And she's the Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.

Pie: Yeah. Liable to light Grail-shaped beacons.

Anon: (laughs)

Anon²: Didn't Rix used to play for Arsenal at some point?

Pie: He was a paedophile, wasn't he?

Anon²: Oh was he? Oh fuck!

Pie: Yeah, he got arrested for having sex with a 15-year-old. But he did play for Arsenal.

(From Wikipedia: In March 1999, Rix was sentenced to 12 months in prison, of which he served six, for having underage sex and indecently assaulting a 15-year-old girl called Ally Duthie who lived in Edinburgh, who was the daughter of a family friend. He was also ordered to be placed on the sex offenders' register for 10 years, and banned by the FA from working with youth players under the age of 16. Upon his release from prison he immediately rejoined Chelsea in his old job. He won the FA Cup again in 2000 before leaving the club after Vialli was sacked by Ken Bates, after a brief spell as caretaker manager.)

Anon: Another thing with Geordi... the Enterprise is running low on energy, but Geordi decides to go to the holodeck anyuway to try to make his own love-thing. In fact, he spends valuable time trying to give this thing a personality.

Anon²: He's desperately trying to get his spuds licked.

Pie: You've just reminded me of that scene in Red Dwarf where Cat unplugs the main console so he can plug in his hairdryer.

Anon: (laughs) Yeah, there's a bit in this episode where they switch off the holodeck when Geordi's trying to resolve all of the problems from there.

Pie: The whole Geordi part of this episode kinda grated on me a bit.

Anon: And that "Geordi part of the episode" was the whole of the episode anyway.

Pie: It was, but the actual storyline part of the episode wasn't too bad.

Anon: Yeah, but the teleplay was loaded in technobabble. I mean, this probably had more technobabble in it than any other episode of Trek we've watched whilst doing these commentaries. The episode was loaded with it! The main character for this episode was an engineer, who was talking to an engineer. Then, when he wasn't talking to Leah Brahms, the engineer, he was talking to the Bridge Crew about engineering concepts. It didn't really help the episode.

Pie: Right, I agree.

Anon: I don't actually remember this episode as being as bad as I thought it was just then.

Pie: I don't think it was terrible.

Anon: No, I wouldn't go as far as terrible.

Pie: I think there have probably been at least a dozen worse episodes so far. The whole Geordi storyline grated on me because I don't think he's a character that works well in his own episode.

Anon: Right, Geordi's best moments tend to be the ones where he's playing off of Data.

Pie: Yeah, and b`eing the go-to guy for technical problems. He comes up with solutions and comes up with ideas.

Anon²: It was an average episode to me, I'm afraid. I think I kinda switched off a little and let it flow in. I wasn't paying full attention.

Anon: The episode doesn't really do much to engage the audience, does it?

Pie: Not really, no.

Anon: Not unless you're really excited about the prospect of Geordi being able to shag a hologram. Anyway, at the end of the episode, he probably just switches her off regardless. Goes home and has a wank, doesn't he?

Pie: It seemed like the episode was trying to be about Geordi's love-life, rather than anything else. I don't think that can hold the audience's interest. Geordi's not an interesting enough character. Not at this stage, anyway.

Anon²: It does back the theory up that the holodeck was designed for people to have a fuck.

Anon: It certainly is designed for that in DS9, isn't it?

Anon²: Riker would've been in there a lot, then. Right, I suggest we move along.

Anon: Okay, may as well. We can fit one more in today, can't we? So, the next episode is...

Anon²: Not Up the Long Ladder, which was bollocks.

Pie: Hey - let's watch that again!

Anon²: No! If I'm watching that again, I'm watching it in Spanish and would require a large amount of [censored].

Pie: (laughs)

Anon: Okay, I believe the next episode is called The Enemy.

Anon²: Know Your Enemy!

Pie: Sounds like a Rommie episode.

Anon²: It's a Rage Against The Machine track, actually.

Anon: Hmmm, The Enemy may have been the episode with the Pi in it.

Anon²: The what? The Pie?

Pie: No, the ship: the Pi. A unique scout vessel.

Anon²: A Rommie one?

Anon: Yeah.

Pie: Yeah. It's not the one with Geordi and Bochra, is it? (pause) No, you can't have 2 Geordi episodes in a row.

Anon: We'll soon find out. See you later. Bye.

- Anon, Anon² & Pie, 23-Dec-2009