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| Why the long face? | The guy in the middle is Colonel Decker from The A-Team! | Admiral Gromit's forgotten her communicator! Dumb bitch! | Some cunt. |
| (more images below) | |||
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| Why the long face? | The guy in the middle is Colonel Decker from The A-Team! | Admiral Gromit's forgotten her communicator! Dumb bitch! | Some cunt. |
| (more images below) | |||
Overview: Worf's former lover comes aboard Enterprise to help deal with the crew of a Klingon Warbird waking up from decades of suspended animation and unaware that the Federation and Klingons are now allies instead of enemies.
Writer: Thomas H. Calder, Richard Manning & Hans Beimler
Director: Cliff Bole
Anon2: Whoohoo!
Anon: Actually, it's not 40.
Anon2: No?
Anon: It's 46.
Anon2: 46?
Anon: Yeah, 46.
Anon2: Oh, you can't read your own writing.
Anon: Yeah, either that or I'm fucked.
Anon2: (laughs)
Anon: So, the episode starts off with them playing poker. They decide to invite Dr. Pulaski...
Anon2: Yeah, the twat.
Anon: Yeah, not Roman Polanski.
Anon2: Roman Polanski! (laughs) Did I say that in one of the previous commentaries?
Anon: Yeah, you did.
Anon2: Did I? (laughs) Fucking hell! That director on Star Trek!
Anon: Anyway, they decided to invite Dr. Pulaski. Now, I was wondering why they decided to invite such a miserable bitch until I saw her losing heads-up against Worf at which point I realised she was dead money anyway.
Anon2: (laughs) Yeah, she's probably got a granny fanny to be fair.
Anon: Yeah, what was that in Balls of Steel? Hairy Beaver - Salma Hayek?
Anon2: Yeah. (laughs) And Liza Minnelli - Granny Fanny.
Anon: Yeah, Balls of Steel, guys. It's great. Worth checking out.
Anon2: Yeah. What were we saying?
Anon: Oh yeah, Star Trek. Klingons never bluff at poker, by the way.
Anon2: No, they don't.
Anon: That's something we learnt in this episode.
Anon2: That's quite good, because it means that if they raise, you fold.
Anon: Yeah, or you trap them if you've got the nuts.
Anon2: Okay, anyway there's an Admiral in this episode called Gromit. And we've got a card-count - 1 apiece although we can't remember what it was.
Anon: Something to do with the IKC T'Ong.
Anon2: T'Ong!
Anon: T'Ong!
Anon2: D'Ong!
Anon: D'Ong! B'Ong!
Anon2: B'Ong!
Anon: M'Ong!
Anon2: M'Ong!
Anon: It's purely organic, guys! Yeah, anyway, Admiral Gromit had a really crappy uniform.
Anon2: It was a bit shit. And Geordi did fuck all. Data didn't get told to shut the fuck up.
Anon: Quite an accomplishment for him. The bird who plays K'Ehleyr is Suzie Plakson who played Dr. Selar back in The Schizoid Man, many episodes ago.
Anon2: I didn't recognise her.
Anon: She's gone from being a Vulcan to half-Klingon, half-human.
Anon2: There you go. Oh, the other thing about this K'Ehleyr bitch is that she arrives in this Class A probe that has just about enough room to fit herself in with her gimp mask.
Anon: Yeah, she's wearing a big gimp mask. Either that or she's paranoid about Swine Flu.
Anon2: Yeah, then later on she's got the kit she was wearing but also 2 or 3 changes of clothing that we didn't see in the Class A probe.
Anon: Yeah, plus a complete Klingon uniform as well.
Anon2: They could've replicated them I suppose. Unlikely though.
Anon: Well, if they can replicate clothing, why is Beverly trying to buy material at Farpoint Station in the first episode?
Anon2: Because she's a woman.
Anon: Ah, that'll be it.
Anon2: Yeah, blob blob blob blob blob!
Anon: Speaking of which, K'Ehleyr was somewhat on the blob here. The rag. The Kling-rag. She smashes up a table.
Anon2: Yeah and then when she and Worf have had a fuck, she digs her fingernails into the palm of her hand and bleeds again.
Anon: Maybe that's where Klingons blob out of... their hands.
Anon2: Could be.
Anon: What about a Klingon's cock?
Anon2: What?! (laughs)
Anon: Do you reckon a Klingon cock has ridges on it like their foreheads?
Anon2: (pause) You've put me in a tight spot here! I don't know much about Klingon genitalia to be honest.
Anon: But you're a biologist.
Anon2: But Klingons aren't real.
Anon: Oh shit! I forgot!
Anon2: Fuck man! They're make-believe. It must be make-believe but then again they have their own language where you can buy The Klingon Dictionary in most good bookshops.
Anon: Yeah, I bought a copy once.
Anon2: No motherfucking way! (laughs)
Anon: Yeah, I think I car-booted it.
Anon2: Do they have car boots in the 24th century?
Anon: Yeah, they stick it in Ten Forward.
Anon2: Ten Forward? That's at the front. Boots are usually at the back.
Anon: Good point. But maybe they do things in reverse by then.
Anon2: What? Reverse evolution of what's normal. Ah well, I guess Porsches have their boots at the front, don't they? But they're German. Laziest designers ever! Basically they've got a great big jelly-mould somewhere in Germany. They put a big bit of metal in, press a button - "Clunk!" - and a 911 comes out. Unlike Aston Martins where the hand-built ones are fucking superb. I was actually going to buy myself a day with an Aston Martin on a track but then I realised at the bottom of the application form that I needed a driving license. It was only £145 for 3 hours in the car. Pretty good that, to be fair.
Anon: Yeah, it's just the couple of thousand quid it will cost you to learn to drive these days.
Anon2: I can drive, but I need a lot of refreshers and that.
Anon: Another thing I quite liked in this episode was the bit between Worf and Picard after Worf wusses out of being assigned to K'Ehleyr.
Anon2: I'm going to start calling Worf "Wuss" from now on. Pussy.
Anon: Yeah, so Worf's wussing out of being assigned to K'Ehleyr and Picard goes to Worf, "Do you have any personal objections?" and Worf says "Yes." Then Picard goes to Worf, "Do you have any professional objections?" and Worf begrudgingly says "No" and withdraws his request. I think that's quite a good scene. Now, there's a book I've come across, which I haven't purchased...
Anon2: But you spunked on it? You came across it?
Anon: You dirty, one-track minded pikey perv!
Anon2: Fuck you, that's slander!
Anon: So, there's a book that's out which I haven't read, with a title something like "Captain Picard's Guide to Office Management."
Anon2: No way!
Anon: Seriously, now as I understand it, it's a book of leadership lessons you can get whilst watching Captain Picard in Star Trek.
Anon2: I am actually... that's just insane!
Anon: Well, I'll stick a link into the commentary when I write it up.
(Ring ring)
Anon2: Oh look, your phone's ringing.
Anon: Okay. So, the next episode is something else. See you later. Bye.
- Anon & Anon2, 5-Dec-2009
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| I bet he's looking at his bell-end. | IKC B'Ong! | We're going to send this in to "Up the Arse Corner" in Viz magazine! | K'Ehleyr wears the +2 Gloves of Fisting. |