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| Dixon Hill's back. | Picard tries to avoid shagging Gene's wife. | It's fucking Fleetwood Mac! | With his mate, Fish-Face! |
| (more images below) | |||
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| Dixon Hill's back. | Picard tries to avoid shagging Gene's wife. | It's fucking Fleetwood Mac! | With his mate, Fish-Face! |
| (more images below) | |||
Overview: Deanna's mother seeks a new husband, and she has her eyes on Picard.
Writer: Terry Devereaux
Director: Rob Bowman
Anon2: Yeah. Erm, and also we didn't seem to get any cards. I don't know if we could be arsed. Were there any cards? I don't think there were.
Anon: There probably was but fuck knows what.
Anon2: Oh, we also had a weird incident where Data got told to come and not shut the fuck up.
Anon: Yeah!
Anon2: So it was a negative shut the fuck up. But then he did get told to shut the fuck up as soon as he got out of the situation.
Anon: So, he finished in a par situation.
Anon2: Evens.
Anon: Even-Stevens.
Anon2: So, what do we remember about this episode?
Anon: Mick Fleetwood's in it.
Anon2: Yeah. Or, as you called him, "Fleetwood Mackerel!"
Anon: (laughs) Yeah. Basically Mick Fleetwood plays an enormous fish who eats other fish and turns out to be a terrorist bomber.
Anon2: Exactly. Fleetwood Splat. Or Fleetwood Sprat, which is another fish.
Anon: So, 12 years before 9/11 there's a suicide bomber running around.
Anon2: As a big fish.
Anon: Maybe that's what Osama Bin Laden is hiding as.
Anon2: Yeah, in a cave as a big fish.
Anon: Yeah, or on a starship in 370 years' time.
Anon2: So, basically what we need to do is find someone like Lwaxana Troi that can read minds to find out where Osama Bin Laden is.
Anon: That would do the job. But she can't read the minds of holographic people, as we learn in this episode when they go back into the holodeck for another Dixon Hill bit.
Anon2: Not really much of Dixon Hill though. But interesting. When they went into the holodeck, I thought, "This is what this episode is about" but actually, the episode's a load of fucking nonsense, really. Nothing much happens. They just ponce about basically.
Anon: With the Dixon Hill bit, they refer back to The Big Goodbye, where Whalen got shot - or Whalefucker as we called him then - and Picard is afraid of getting killed by the holograms. Now, one of the people who tries to kill him is called Slade Bender!
Anon2: Yes! Now, that's a great name, and that's what we're going to call Sladey from now on.
Anon: So, if anyone named Slade happens to be reading this, then hello! And if you are a bender, you're also a Star Trek character.
Anon2: Yeah, Slade Bender.
Anon: Slade Bender indeed.
Anon2: Shall we say that again? Slade Bender!
Anon & Anon2: (singing to the tune of Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger) Slade Bender! Nyur-nyur-nyur. He's a spy... and a kind of real camp guy! Slade Bender!
Anon: So, if you're half-Northerner and half-robot from Futurama, you become a holodeck character in this episode, Manhunt.
Anon2: Yeah, Slade Bender. What was it again?
Anon & Anon2: (singing to the tune of Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger) Slade Bender! Nyur-nyur-nyur. He's a spy... and a kind of real camp guy! Slade Bender!
Anon: Right, Mr. Homn's back in this.
Anon2: Yeah, getting pissed again.
Anon: He is a pisshead, but we like Mr. Homn.
Anon2: Yeah, we do. We've got 5 cans of beer here, because I've had 1 more than you.
Anon: Yeah. I did have 7 at lunchtime though. I'm doing pretty well.
Anon2: Sure. But if anyone's going to have a drinking competition, don't - whatever you do - have a drinking competition with Mr. Homn. Because I tell you what - he can fucking knock it back.
Anon: He's a hardcore drinker for an American.
Anon2: Oh, he's American?
Anon: I think so. Carel Struycken is, yeah.
(I'm wrong. He's Dutch. We like the Dutch. They rule.)
Anon2: If he's American, he probably drinks Bud Lite, doesn't he?
Anon: Dirty Bud Lite! What a load of shit! Anyway, have you got over the last episode yet? Up the Long Ladder?
Anon2: I've wiped that.
Anon: You've wiped that from your mind. Good man! This was better than that. This episode is part-Haven; part-The Big Goodbye. How do you think it compared to those two?
Anon2: I think this was still a sub-5 out of 10. 3 or 4 at best.
Anon: Do you think it was better than Haven, with Wyatt Twurp?
Anon2: This was just pants basically.
Anon: Soap opera stuff again.
Anon2: Yeah. Nothing happens much. We got vaguely entertained by the occasional thing. Riker is actually quite class in this episode, for various reasons.
Anon: He grins a lot.
Anon2: Yeah.
Anon: We like Riker. He's a bit of a legend. Anyway, anything else.
Anon2: No, just Slade Bender again!
Anon: So, the next episode is called The Emissary. Not just Emissary, which was the DS9 pilot, but The Emissary, which is the first episode with K'Ehleyr in it. Remember her?
Anon2: Not really.
Anon: She sucked Worf's cock and later produced Alexander Rozhenko.
Anon2: Oh right. She's a Klingon, is she? I thought Alexander was half-human? I don't get it.
Anon: I think K'Ehleyr was half-Klingon, half-human. So Alexander would have been three-quarters-Klingon, one-quarter-twat.
Anon2: Fair enough.
Anon: Okay, so that's it for now. We watched 3 episodes. We had some fun; we had some low points too.
Anon2: We had a big fucking downer with Up the Long Ladder. Oh, and your farts! We could cut out global warming. Just stick a pipe up you!
Anon: (farts)
Anon2: Fucking hell man! That stinks!
Anon: There's no pipe going up me. My arse is purely a one-way system.
Anon2: You've got more methane than a meaty cow!
Anon: Alright, we love you all. Take care, bye.
- Anon & Anon2, 26-Nov-2009
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| Slade Bender. Amazing! | Beware the bartender with a 'tache. | Show me the money! It's Scarface! | "I'd fuck 'er!" - Anon2 | Apparently they're a bomb. "Fancy a bomb?" |