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| Interplanetary drug deal in progress. Watch out for the fuzz! | Judson Scott: dodgy hair. | Merritt Butrick: dead. | His mate looks like a right hick. |
| (more images below) | |||
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| Interplanetary drug deal in progress. Watch out for the fuzz! | Judson Scott: dodgy hair. | Merritt Butrick: dead. | His mate looks like a right hick. |
| (more images below) | |||
Overview: Picard tries to mediate a trade dispute between two neighboring planets.
Writers: Robert Lewin, Richard Manning & Hans Beimler
Director: Win Phelps
Anon2: Or "The Amsterdam Episode."
Anon: Yeah. I just want to give a big shout-out. We've discovered we have a foreign reader of our commentaries. Hi there Olav!
Anon2: Olav!
Anon: What a lad! What a guy! There were two guys from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan in this episode.
Anon2: Yeah.
Anon: Still by far to me that was the best Trek movie.
Anon2: Yeah, I guess so.
Anon: It had Merritt Butrick in this episode who was David Marcus, Captain Kirk's son. He died a couple of years after this episode.
Anon2: Of AIDS.
Anon: Yeah, from AIDS.
Anon2: That would be from sharing needles during this episode.
Anon: It wouldn't have helped, would it? It also had Judson Scott from V and other stuff. He was in this episode too. And another thing I think I should point out was the Ensign walking around at the back of the corridors that looked like Mandelson.
Anon2: Yeah, obviously as camp as fuck.
Anon: Maybe I'll point out something that was mentioned on Mock The Week last night.
Anon2: Oh, I watched that. Hasn't that guy got a weird beard now?
Anon: Oh, Frankie Boyle? Yeah.
Anon2: Anyway, go on.
Anon: Yeah, Mandelson is not only a Lord but also gay, which officially makes him...
Anon2: A gaylord! (laughs) I saw that. That was great.
Anon: Yeah, Mock The Week's the best show on TV sometimes. This episode, I guess, was about drugs, wasn't it?
Anon2: Yeah, it was. That speach by Tasha Yar to Wesley...
Anon: The "Just Say No" speach.
Anon2: Yeah, that one. He was wearing his gay stripy top again. He's a right scabby bastard. Fucking hell.
Anon: In fact, that was all Wesley did in this episode - get lectured by Yar. I guess that's a plus in terms of negative screen time.
Anon2: The fact that he's supposed to be one of these kid geniuses - by the time Tasha gets to the end of her speach, he still doesn't understand.
Anon: That's because he's never seen a bong or anything. He's probably never had a beer neither.
Anon2: He certainly hasn't had a shag yet.
Anon: No, I don't think he even gets one from Salia.
Anon2: No. Oh, card-count: I got one. We don't know what it was.
Anon: No, it was the bit where Riker got ensnared in T'Jon's teleknetic weapon.
Anon2: Yeah, the electric weapon.
Anon: Right. We both think it's on a card, so if anyone knows, send your emails in to imnotgoingtoleavemyemailaddressontheinternetotherwiseitwillgetspammed@doyouthinkiamamuppet.com.
Anon2: And the same for me, except I get spammed all the time anyway. Today, it was particularly by Ebay, who I've unsubscribed from about a hundred times. Fuckers keep on sending me fucking emails. I wouldn't mind, but I get them straight to my Blackberry, so every five minutes my phone's vibrating and I'm thinking, "Oh, something interesting" and it's not. I don't want to buy a pair of fucking yellow pants! Fuck off!
Anon: (laughs)
Anon2: Anyway, back to the episode. Data gets told to shut the fuck up. First time in several episodes.
Anon: Yeah, it is.
Anon2: That was quite amusing. He was counting the number of beans - it was like the old game of Count The Jellybeans. Y'know, in a jar. That was pretty poor. Basically, the episode, as far as the Enterprise crew were concerned, was a battle of morality between The Prime Directive and The Hippocratic Oath, which if you think about it, are mutually exclusive in certain respects.
Anon: Yeah, I guess so. There's a few Star Trek episodes that deal with that subject, particularly Dr. Bashir in Deep Space 9.
Anon2: Oh him, yeah. He was a bit of a ponce, wasn't he?
Anon: Sometimes yeah. We'll see if we ever get round to watching some of them.
Anon2: Well, that depends on the price of DS9 coming down.
Anon: Oh yeah, it's a ripoff at the moment. Bashir's in an episode of season 6 of Next Gen too.
Anon2: Really? As hims elf?
Anon: Yeah, Birthright Part 1, I think.
Anon2: Ah right.
Anon: That's a really shit two-parter.
Anon2: Great, I'll look forward to that.
Anon: Although by then, you'll have forgotten this conversation.
Anon2: Yeah, probably. Depends really. You might bring it up at the time and I'll go, "Yeah, I remember. Look at me! I can remember shit!"
Anon: Time will tell. You might have to prepare well for that one.
Anon2: Well, I can't remember what I did yesterday anyway.
Anon: So the next episode is Skin of Evil.
Anon2: Ah yes. The execution of Tasha Yar. And the creation of the little holographic model that Data keeps. Brilliant.
Anon: We'll have a chat about that episode quite shortly, I suspect.
Anon2: We were discussing what Tasha Yar actually had on her card earlier. Definitely Security.
Anon: Yeah, Security of course. Plus a picture. Some text lore.
Anon2: Yeah, the text probably said, "Total fucking lezza. About to die in the next episode."
Anon: Strength of 7 or 8, something like that.
Anon2: Yep, Blob x2. And Lesbian x1.
Anon: No Barbering?
Anon2: Maybe Fisting, I'm not sure there.
Anon: Speaking of Barbering, only two episodes to go until the first episode to feature a Bolian.
Anon2: Ah, Mot. No, hang on, it can't be Mot.
Anon: No, it's not Mot. You'll see.
Anon2: I think I remember him. A blue guy, weren't he?
Anon: Yeah, a blue guy. Obviously.
Anon2: Like The Blue Man Group, but only one of them.
Anon: (laughs) Just like that. You know what? Maybe that's what The Blue Man Group were thinking of - maybe they'd just seen some Next Gen, seen a Bolian and thought...
Anon2: "That looks alright. We'll make some money out of that!"
Anon: Do you reckon they have to pay royalties to Paramount?
Anon2: I dunno. That's interesting. It could be copyrighted.
Anon: Worth thinking about, perhaps.
Anon2: Oh, actually, are Bolians just descendants of Smurfs? (laughs)
Anon: Random fact time: a guy called Cliff Bole directed the first episode to feature Bolians, so that's why they're called Bolians - it's after Cliff Bole.
Anon2: Ah okay. Want a beer?
Anon: Yeah, I'm going to have a beer. We'll see you all in a bit.
- Anon & Anon2, 14-Aug-2009
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| Guest actress with an annoying voice. | Here's the stash... | ... so get your needles good and ready... | ... then you can get proper super-high. | Some card (we think.) |