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| Score your bonus points... Klingon Death Yell! | Captain Korris, played by the same guy who did Gul Danar and Telek R'Mor. | Lt. Konmel, once guest starred in Cagney & Lacey. | Pot smoking Klingon. Apparently he appeared in 56 episodes of Matlock. |
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Overview: Fugitive Klingons try to hijack the Enterprise.
Writer: Maurice Hurley
Director: Rob Bowman
(Paramount logo appears)
Anon & Anon2: Dur-dur diddy-dur-dur. (both laugh)
Anon: Okay, that was awesome. (still laughing) Well, at least our sing-song was. That was episode 20, Heart of Glory. First Worf episode. Kick us off, dude.
Anon2: Okay, card-count. I got one; you got three. Well done. Right, the episode then: not brilliant; not crap. Average.
Anon: I'd put it quite a bit above average for this season, but it hasn't got much to compete against in this season, has it?
Anon2: Not really, no. It's got a really corny bit in this episode with the Klingon Death Yell. The first one's just a bit, "Oh dear!" but the second one that Worf does in Engineering is just laughable. You've got to see this. The camera just cuts back three or four times to give the added God-knows-what to it.
Anon: This was not the David Lynch school of directing, was it?
Anon2: Not really, no. It was shite. It could've been done on a fucking camera phone these days. Anyway, quite a few things that they did were ridiculous, frankly. First one, someone says, "It's a trap!" and they go, "Okay, let's go anyway." So they throw themselves into danger, no reason to do that. The second one, they're on this ship that they beamed over to and one of them goes to Geordi or Data, "Which is the easiest way around?" and they respond "Well, none of them are easy," and they ask back, "Which is the hardest way around?" I mean, c'mon, why not "Which is the reddest way around?" or "Which is the yellowest way around?" Y'know, what fucking difference does it make? You've asked a question which has been answered. You don't have to fucking re-ask it. Knobs! Go on, say your peace.
Anon: Geordi debuted his amazing Visual Acuity Transmitter. This was a device that was stuck to the side of his VISOR and transmitted what he was seeing back to the Enterprise bridge. It was pretty ropey quality - it was a bit like watching Spanish television.
Anon2: Portugese TV, I thought.
Anon: Let's not forget that Jade Goody thought that Portugal was the capital city of Spain.
Anon2: Yeah, and Sarah Palin thinks that Africa is a country.
Anon: There is clearly an argument for natural selection, isn't there?
Anon2: Yeah, pretty poor.
Anon: No Wesley and no Deanna in this one.
Anon2: Well, Deanna's sadly missed. I like looking at her tits.
Anon: Can't say the same for Wesley, can we?
Anon2: Nope. He's probably got that stupid fucking jumper on though.
Anon: You mentioned in the episode that you thought the Klingons were smoking a joint.
Anon2: Yeah, a couple. There was a massive bong going off on the viewscreen.
Anon: Yeah, in K'Nera's bit.
Anon2: Basically there was this Incoming Message, which was one of the cards, and there was this guy sitting there with a lot of smoke around him. So they were either on fire or he was having a joint.
Anon: Also, the Klingons were eating some dinner. It looked quite tasty. They had some potatoes too. Klingons eat potatoes. They love their spuds.
Anon2: Yeah, the meat was cooked in fact. I didn't think that's what Klingons liked. I thought they like their stuff alive, especially gagh.
Anon: Gagh!
Anon2: Yeah, looks like mushy peas.
Anon: Mushy peas are great.
Anon2: Oh, hang on, gagh's that wormy stuff, isn't it?
Anon: Oh yeah, that's right. Do you remember that bit with the hostage situation?
Anon2: Rubbish, that was.
Anon: In the scene, this kid just ran in, but Captain Korris picked the kid up before handing it over to Worf. But at the beginning and end of this, Tasha Yar calls the bridge to alert them about the situation, but the bridge gave absolutely no advice or guidance.
Anon2: Well, she does tell them to disgregard it after about 15 seconds. I guess they just weren't listening. Oh, there was another bit. This Klingon warrior, can't remember which one it was, says to Riker that a Klingon warrior has now gone to Heaven and they had better be aware. Riker then looks like he's about to shit himself. It was ridiculous. Someone tells him that someone's going to go to Heaven - why are you scared about that? Fuck off!
Anon: Not just that, but how can someone that reaches the rank of Commander in Starfleet have no idea about Klingon culture?
Anon2: True. Klingons are well-known in Trek going back to the Captain Kirk episodes. Anyway, Worf's basically a fucking idiot. The Klingons tell the Enterprise crew this story about how they've been on a ship, and then they tell Worf when they're on their own that they've just fucking lied. Worf then proceeds to take them around the Enterprise on a guided tour, without a second thought about telling his superiors. Come on!
Anon: He's not the smartest cookie in the tin, is he?
Anon2: How is he qualified to be on the bridge anyway?
Anon: Well, Wesley appears to be qualified.
Anon2: Fucking hell!
Anon: So, next up we've got The Arsenal of Freedom.
Anon2: Oh whoopee!
Anon: Any recollections of that?
Anon2: No.
Anon: Paul is dead in that one. Paul is dead.
Anon2: (confused) Dead?
Anon: Yeah, he's dead.
Anon2: (confused) What?
Anon: You'll soon find out. See you later.
- Anon & Anon2, 11-Aug-2009
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| Dead Klingon, played by the guy who would go on to play Johnny Horne in Twin Peaks. Remember the dude in the Indian headdress? | Spanish or Portugese TV? | Maybe this guy was Worf's pot dealer... | ... which made Worf think it was a good idea to take Klingon fugitives on a guided tour of the ship. | The Batris freieghter, apparently modified from a Visitor freighter from 80's sci-fi series V. |