Where No One Has Gone Before

This was a card, right?	Dead	Sitting on the bumming stool	Pointless subplot
(more images below)

Overview: An alien visitor takes the Enterprise on a wild trip outside of the galaxy.
Writers: Diane Duane & Michael Reaves
Director: Rob Bowman

Anon²: Yeah we did. I had a fish cake.

Anon: And a saveloy for me plus some stuff I got down Greenwich Market called Smokin' Hot BBQ Sauce from mrpickles.co.uk. Fantastic.

Anon²: I've had it before. It's very nice.

Anon: So, we just watched Where No One Has Gone Before, episode 6.

Anon²: Another beer and [censored] each. Card count: 3 for me; 5 - yes, 5 for you. That's a record. Well done!

Anon: Yeah, magic. So, Where No One Has Gone Before was also the name of the ST:CCG fanzine that Pie used to put his Ruling Britannia articles into.

Anon²: Yep. Fantastic that was. I only ever went to that website for Pie's articles. I don't know what else was there.

Anon: You mean you didn't go for my deck designs?

Anon²: Were they up there?

Anon: Yeah, every one of them had Salia in the title. Like, "Me, 21 Salias and a Family Sized Tub of Banana Yoghurt."

Anon²: Oh, I kinda remember that.

Anon: Or "Salia's Triple Fried Egg Sandwich with Chile Sauce and Chutney."

Anon²: That's another one, I like that.

Anon: They're Red Dwarf references of course.

Anon²: Yeah?

Anon: Yeah. Like the family sized tub of banana yoghurt was Cat on the dream recorder.

Anon²: Okay, I just remember Cat going "Fish. Today's fish it trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal. Fish. Today's fish it trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal. Fish. Today's fish it trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal. I will."

Anon: So, general things about the episode. I noticed Deanna's new dress has got a green arrow pointing down at her snatch rather than a red one.

Anon²: Yeah, it's not a dress. It's a suit... catsuit sorta thing again. Y'know that's pretty much what she wears for the rest of it. It's pointing to her snatch, so she's obviously not getting enough. She should tell the guys, "Hey, fanny down here. Come get it!" Oh, Data got told to shut the fuck up again. That makes a change. What did Geordi do?

Anon: Was Geordi even in it?

Anon²: Erm... don't know.

Anon: We don't know. He coulda been.

Anon²: I think he... no, actually he was. But he didn't do anything.

Anon: Okay. A lot of Wesley in this episode. He's now Acting Ensign Crusher. What do we reckon to that jumper then? That was truly fucking tragic.

Anon²: That was the gayest thing I've ever seen. It had frills, right? I mean, if you ever get to see this episode in the near future, try and... I think we'll have to get a ratings system up at some point... Category 1: Does Data get told to shut the fuck up? Category 2: How gay is Wesley's jumper? Category 3: Does Geordi actually do anything? What do you reckon, what's number 4?

Anon: Hmmm... we'll come back to that one.

Anon²: We'll come back to that one. We'll devise a rating and we'll go back and judge it. Posthumously... well not posthumously but...

Anon: We've got a new Chief Engineer. Lieutenant Commander Argyle. He's a fat fuck, isn't he?

Anon²: Yeah. I don't think he'll last.

Anon: Yeah, the odds are against him. We also had Kosinski, the guest engineer. I remember seeing him in Murder One many years ago. He's dead now.

Anon²: Is he?

Anon: Yeah. Stanley Kamel's dead.

Anon²: Oh, bloody hell. Well, he certainly wasn't the best actor so I guess he died at some point during the episode. Couple of things I also noticed as well. On the way back from... I'm not going to say where from if you haven't even got to this episode, you might watch it again soon... they're trying to get their way back home and Picard asked them to go to Battle Stations and there's absolutely no reason why they should. I think categorically that's a really bad error by Picard. And he didn't say "shit" this episode.

Anon: He also told the crew to avoid random thoughts. Imagine if they were down in Ten-Forward, having a couple of joints down there. It would be difficult.

Anon²: Oh man, they'd have ended up in Amsterdam. That's not a bad place to end up in as things go. I presume Amsterdam will still be open in the 24th century.

Anon: I guess it depends on rising sea levels.

Anon²: Oh fuck, yeah. Well, they'll have to put it on stilts.

Anon: The odds are against it. Maybe the Kingdom of Lovely will still be there.

Anon²: Well, actually yeah. If they ever update the website we'll find out if it still exists.

Anon: To me, this is the best episode so far in Next Gen. It's a good, entertaining, fun episode. It's got its comic moments in it. It's good all-round - for the season it's a 4 out of 5 job.

Anon²: Certainly, yeah. So far, like I say, we may need to re-rank the previous episodes. Even Wesley's a bit of a turn-up, isn't he? Can't wait for the Borg. (laughs)

Anon: Anything else?

Anon²: Oh yeah, there was another guy wearing a dress. I mean, what the fuck? I'm just hoping that in the future that we keep things kinda how they are. The men wear the trousers and the women wear the skirts. Y'know? I don't really need to see any change to that. I know, David Beckham ventured into wearing a dress for a while, but we always thought he was a bit like that anyway.

Anon: Sarong in fact, which it was.

Anon²: Yes it was.

Anon: Okay, so the next episode is Lonely Among Us. You remember this one at all?

Anon²: A little bit, I guess. I'll tell you after the review.

Anon: It's the first Trek appearance of Marc Alaimo who went on to be Gul Dukat and also has a very dodgy part in the conclusion to the episode that if they'd thought about it, they'd have realised it could have spoilt Trek forever.

Anon²: Oooh... well, I'd better watch this one carefully. Hmmm... where's the lighter?

Anon: Okay, I'm ready for that. See you all later.

- Anon and Anon², 30-Jun-2009