These days, we take for granted the never-ending supply of amusing songs written for Yortle.com, but this has not always been the case. The history of Yortle song writing is a long and dignified one and can be traced back a number of years, more in fact than most people realise. Far longer than the word Yortle itself, and longer in fact than nearly all of the current crop of Yortlers have known each other. So when was the first Yortle-like song written and to whom do we owe this wonderful tradition? Read on to find out.
The first recorded instance of a truly Yortle song occurred in the Spring of 1999 when Ed "Tea Leaf" Downes and John "Fuzz" Conway wrote a song entitled "Computer Crash" based on the Bee Gees/Steps song "Tragedy". The song was unveiled to the audience in the Airport Lounge in Warwick University, not in written form but from a public rendition. While much appreciated (and sung) at the time, its significance in history far outweighs any credit the artists received at the time. Their identity as the true forefathers of Yortle song writing has only just been realised. The genius of Downes and Conway can be seen in the way that their experimental hit "Computer Crash" was not only a brave new leap into a world that may not have even been appreciated, but in the fact that the song stands up very favourably to the songs of today. "Computer Crash" could certainly sit in the pages of Yortle.com and not be ashamed. It could in fact sit there proudly as a very catchy song. Consciously or subconsciously, it fired the imagination of the Warwick massive who were, at the time, the largest collection of "sound blokes" playing Star Trek CCG.
Song writing never took off in a big way at Warwick compared with, for example, building stupidly good decks and getting Stevie G drunk. There were probably other songs written in the coming months, but none stood the test of time. However, in the summer of 99, Ian "Piemaster" Taylor and Rik Thomas wrote the timeless hit "The Martin Allen Song". This eventually became the new benchmark for song writing but it was not the sudden stroke of genius or hard slog that successful songs of late have been. The song was in fact written over the course of many weeks, and the "final" version completed by Taylor and Thomas was significantly different to the version eventually appearing in Ruling Britannia years later. In those days, there was no real medium for recording songs and they were largely passed from person to person, which partially explains this songs gradual evolution.
Song writing died down somewhat after the summer of 1999. Many of the protagonists graduated from Warwick, and dispersed around the country. Eventually London established itself as the new social centre of for Star Trek CCG, but it was a while before anybody seriously attempted song writing again. A few songs were being written again but with no publishing outlet, they were exclusively reduced to three to four liners that could be easily remembered. A few notable classics written in this period were "Danielle" and "It's Raining Beer". It was not until June 2000 with the advent of Ruling Britannia, that there was finally a medium in which material written by the London Trek Players could be recorded. True, the majority of content was written by author Ian Taylor but the scope was there for material to be published on the Internet from others and it was only a matter of time before Yortle song writing would make a comeback. A song written by Taylor entitled "The UK Trek Players Anthem" was the first to look beyond a catchy chorus and, although entirely forgettable from a musical standpoint, it marked the beginning of a golden age of song writing.
Many would point to the evening of Friday 29th September 2000 as the day that Yortle song writing as we know it truly began. A group including James Farmer and Ian Taylor sat in Pages bar attempting to re-write the lyrics to a number of songs that came on the jukebox. As well as a number of feeble efforts including the one-line wonder "I'm spinning around, showing my arse" the first true classic of the London Trek era was written. "The James Farmer Blues Part 1" more commonly referred to as "Spoonheads" became the most popular sing along tune almost overnight. Despite being long for its time (an entire verse and chorus) everybody knew the words.
Song writing truly began to capture the imagination of the London Yortlers and it was effectively "launched" in a big way by Ruling Britannia VIII, which featured 12 songs, some old and some written especially for the occasion. By far the best new creation was "The James Farmer Blues Part II" which, over the years, has been second only to "Spoonheads" in the popularity stakes. Even at this stage, the number of songs was very limited. These 12 songs represented pretty much the entire repertoire of the London gang and some of these were real one-liners such as the old favourite "Tobes is on the Girls' Team". These songs have stood the test of time more than most and objectively, this is more to do with the limited number of songs available at the time meaning that they were all memorised. It is fair to say that only around half of them would be up to today's standards.
Riding the crest of the wave that was Ruling Britannia VIII, the "Song of the Month" contest was launched. This led to a continuous stream of new songs entering the environment including "Blame Roleplayers", "That's your Shit Deck", "I Will Survive" (aka "Tales Of Littlehampton") and "Livin on a Prayer" (aka "The Lonka Pulsar") The origin of many of the new songs was the collaboration of Ian Taylor, Steve "Tobes" Tobin, Stuart "Snap" Lauder and Mike "The Hand" Shanny in a shared house in Walthamstow. However, this sparked may other talented songwriters such as James Farmer and Howard Kendrick into action. Not only were many songs getting written but they were getting longer and better. "System 5" by James Farmer was the first song to completely rewrite the entire song, a trend which others began to follow. By the end of 2001, the future of Yortle song writing had never looked so rosy.
Unfortunately, this state of affairs didn't last long. By the beginning of 2002, the future of Trek in London began to look pretty grim. While this didn't in itself prevent song writing, it led to less interest in Trek and Ruling Britannia making submissions for songs scarcer. It also led to less meetings of Team Yortle and hence less opportunity for collaborative efforts. This marked the beginning of the end for the first golden age of Yortle song writing. Although Ruling Britannia and Song of the Month limped on for a while, the songs were not up to the same standard. There were a few hidden gems such as "Bloody DQSS" and "The Ballad of Colm McFadden", but these were few and far between and the focus was gone. In November 2002 Ruling Britannia rolled out its last issue, officially signalling the end of the golden age.
What followed was a protracted Dark Age for song writing. With the publishing medium gone, there was very little enthusiasm for song writing. These were not bad times by any means. If anything, the Yortlers grew tighter and added depth to their ranks. However, the enthusiasm for writing songs had waned and any singing was restricted mainly to the old classics, which were still enjoyed by all. Other projects such as the Tube Line Drinking Challenge began to occupy much of their time and hobbies other than CCGs began to fill their lives. While there were almost certainly some songs written or at least conceptualised during this period, there is no known written record of them. This state of affairs continued until the summer of 2004.
In June 2004, a number of factors combined to put Yortle song writing firmly back on the radar. Amongst us we owned the rights to the domain Yortle.com and started to put some work into getting the page online. One of the first projects was the first new song in a long time entitled "The Return". Simultaneously, Ian Taylor was planning a one-off Song of the Month called "Trekker Boy". At around the same time, Rick "Punchline" Bolton, Rosemary "Rozi" Simpson and Mike "Mikey Taters" McFadden all announced impending moves to London. There was a newfound energy amongst the Yortlers and some of it was directed into song writing. On 7th of June 2004, "The Return" went online, and was followed shortly by Trekker Boy and another Anon song "Everybody Knows". By the time "Decipherian Rhapsody" was published a few days later, Yortle.com was well and truly launched and the gang were gripped with song writing fever.
The new songs were of a different style than before. Writing complete songs became the norm rather than the exception. Some lyrical masterpieces were conceived, and since then song writing has continued to proliferate. Between July and October sixty songs were written, nearly twice as many as in the previous five years put together. Yortle.com gave writers a fantastic opportunity to get their work in the public eye, and maybe write the next Spoonheads or Computer Crash. The songwriters even began to develop their own style and uniqueness, and songs have ranged from the traditional (The Day the Card Game Died) to the humourous (I've Never met a Nice Vegetarian), the pornographic ("My New Porn Song"), the complicated ("We Didn't Start the Fire"), the catchy ("Chips and Peas") and the political ("Don't Worry, Vote Bushy"). The song writing is not slowing down and, as Yortle.com gets more and more useful content, the number of writers can only increase further. The MOYO (Music of Yortle Origin) awards are in the pipeline and the PC recording technology has triggered rumours of a CD release.
The future's bright
The future's Yortle
Ian Taylor, 10-Nov-2004