Oh... Great Uncle Pete had a ringside seat to see us get unstable
Piemaster, Piemaster was a drunk disaster who could drink Ed under the table
Noddy Slade became afraid of Shanny’s Irish madness
And Lucy and Becks were of the fairer sex and for that there was much gladness
There’s nothing Lauder wouldn't order so I hope you all get the gist
Punchline himself was permanently pissed
There’s James Farmer, in Boba Fett armour, he had eight pints then he was slightly calmer
HK, they say, could stick it away, all those pints of John Smith's every day
Martin Allen, Martin Allen used to drink it by the gallon, and Tobes was fond of his Smice
And Neil P said as his decreee: "Drinking’s my only vice"
Yes, it was I who compiled this shitty list...
A drunken Essex fucker who’s a bugger when he’s pissed
- 27-Jul-2004