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Scary Tale of New Pork Valid CSS

based on Fairytale of New York by The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl
revised lyrics by Anon2, 23-Dec-2005


It was pornography babe
When I had a big wank
An old man sold to me, to see your bird in one
Has she sucked a huge schlong?
They had your sister too?
Then whipped the cum away
Wet dreamed about you

Had on a lucky thong
Girl of eighteen stone
I've got a feeling
This girls dirty 'n blue
So happy shagging
I love you baby
Can I get a hood shined?
When all our dreams come true

They've got bras
Big as cars
They've got showers of gold
And the girls they will all do you
And they're cheap so I’m told

When I put gold in their hand
You wouldn't believe
They promised me
Bonking till near half past three

They’re not handsome
Nor pretty
Here in Doncaster City
But then all I’ve been saying
They’ll be wanting some more
Yes Sandra was minging
All the drunks they were singing
We shagged in the alley
Just last Friday night

The boys in the VD clinic swore
They'll shag 'em again next day
Though their plums were well wrung out
It's fair to say

Up the bum
Drink my spunk
She's an old slut your mum
And you aunty she's so dirty
She'd shag you to death

"I hate weddings with faggots"
(That's a quote from Joel Taggart)
Are you sure what your bonking?
I pray God
It's a lass

The boys in the VD clinic swore
They'll shag 'em again next day
Though their plums were well wrung out
It's fair to say

You can easily bone someone
But so could anyone
They take your trousers down
After only a minute or two
It's easy to get laid
That's what the past has shown
Sharon's already gone and blown
My nads are happy and empty now

- Anon2, 23-Dec-2005