The Day The Card Game Died

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How that card game used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
My shuffling algorithms - they would dance
DT's deck would be in his discard pile

But every download made me shiver
Too much beer was in my liver
Chunder on the doorstep
I couldn't walk one more step

I can't remember if I cried
When I pushed card games to the side
But something touched me deep inside
The day our card game died

Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

Did you play a bunch of cards?
And did you get twenty-four Picard's
'Cos Mark Radford told you so?
And did you ever Q The Referee
When someone tried to Q-Bypass thee?
And can you teach me how to do that too?

Well I know that you're in love with Fed's
'Cos I saw you playing PNZ's
We all drank loads of booze
Man, I dug Federation blues!

I really couldn't give a flying fuck
When Voyager came and made our card game suck
But I knew Trek had come unstuck
The day our card game died

I started singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

Now for five years we were on our own
As drunken bastards, we all were known
And that's just how it used to be
When Luca dressed up like a queen
And our language was really quite obscene
With the exclusion of Mister Stevie G.

Oh, and when the game caused us to frown
We decided to hit the town
The tourney's were adjourned
All Tobin's cards were burned

And while HK's deck went up in sparks
Snap sat there - playing Dabo in Quark's
And we played frisbee in the park
The day the card game died

We were singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

Whatever the agenda we went on a bender
It was always something to remember
Eight pints down, we were falling fast
So we just smoked loads of grass
The game was looking like a total ass
Our interest in Star Trek had been surpassed

Now, Bowdy and me were playing Dune
Then we all went down the Greasy Spoon
We all were thinking of romance
Oh, and we realised this by chance:
Yes, the good thing that the game revealed
It was dead so we played the field
I do recall my life was healed
The day the card game died

We started singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

Oh, and there we were all in one place
Social misfits of the human race
Waiting for the round to start again
So sure, our decks were nimble
Our decks were quick
Major Rakal was such a dick
'Cos rulings were that devil's only friend

Oh, and as I watched the seed phase being laid
I waited for the cheese to be played
No fire alarm bell
Could break our card game hell

And as the game crashed far out of sight
When card games were at their height
I saw Big D laughing with delight
The day the card game died

We were singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

I knew a Paddy who drank some booze
Now he just listens to The Muse
So I just smiled and turned away
I went down the gaming store
Where I'd bought some cards years before
But the man there said the card game wasn't played

And in the end the Trek scene died
About prize support, Decipher lied
But not a word was spoken
Warren Holland's bank was broken

And the players I admire the most
Marcus, Pie and Joeri Hoste
Still DT thought he'd won the most
The day the card game died

We were singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try
This'll be the last deck I try

We were singing
Why, why, did this DQSS come by?
Put my deck plans in the folder - they would never be tried
Us good ol' boys were playing Rommies with pride
Singing this'll be the last deck I try